JUAN SAMPER: MOTHER BY CHOISE

By: Silvia Davila MM

www.pipolmagazine.com

Bogota/ Copyright

May 572011

Published in El Tiempo Newspaper/ May 7, 2011

At thirty-seven, when he had already climbed all the steps that by the book lead to success – school, university, marriage, money, position - Juan Francisco Samper, being single, adopted a child on his own. He convinced the adoption agency, changed his working schedule, made his house a “swiss clock”, entered  parenthood alone and became an exemplary Mom.
He is a case unique.

Juan Francisco walked a very traditional path in his hometown. He studied in a good school, continued to a renowned college, specialized in the best University, and closed his studies abroad. He served as Human Resources vice-president at several financial institutions whereas his real passion was a field where he could best apply his talents: community action. An unshakeable personality that treated everyone even, simplicity and humour, opened doors for him whenever community organization was required. When he decided to adopt a child he had gone through two childless marriages and led a comfortable life on his own.

His decision to become a single adoptive parent – the only case in history in his country – set him on a path where he would have to face adoption preconceptions, work regulations, social stereotypes, a new domestic daily life, and his plans for the future. In 1985, he went through all the adoption’s requirements and investigations successfully, and waited for a baby girl to change his life.  When Julia arrived she was six days old.

By then, Juan Francisco’s administrative skills had transformed his home in an enterprise for racing children: soups labled and refrigerated in chronological order, clothes organized by sizes, specific supplies on specific days, controlled visits, toys, colours and Hermencia, the nanny. Once the house was set in order, he faced the second of the several battles he would fight for his daughter.

The financial institution where he worked did not consider in its regulations a ‘maternity leave’ for men, a prerogative which he had asked for. It was denied. Juan Francisco resigned his job and launched a legal discussion that ended with the review of the country’s jurisprudence, while he gave Julia the care and attention that any mother would give to her first born. Discrete and private, he would win his battles and return to his simple life.  Placed among famous brothers – Daniel an authority in journalism, and Ernesto already adventuring into politics – Juan Francisco enjoyed the shade.

He had fun braking social stereotypes by taking Julia to every party. In the midst of a multitude of mothers carrying babies, his six feet high, his beard and his round glasses surfaced. He made good use of a wide circle of friends to give Julia the feminine touch during her first years. He, himself had a definitive one: Helena, his mother, one of the few women that attended college at the beginning of past century, was a teacher that instilled in her family a humanist background and passed to her siblings a penetrating humor.

His newly born parenthood, however, did not change his life plans. When awarded a Fulbright scholarship he left to the States with Julia and the old nanny. Juan Francisco was the proudest and most efficient “mom-dad” in the prairies. School meetings, parties, outings, doctors, shopping, meals, and studies, everything he managed with discipline and a good mood. A few years after the adoption, when he had gave up the idea of a new marriage, love run him over. He wed Lorencita Santamaria who gave him another baby girl, Lina. Life compensated his previous efforts with a happy family of four. 

Devoted client of El Refugio Alpino restaurant of which he knew the menu by heart, surrounded by godchildren he collected from many walks of life, simple dressed, warm, funny and determined, Juan Francisco Samper set a landmark in the country’s parenthood field. He exalted adoption as a wonderful resource for children that otherwise would never have parents like him, and he taught that motherhood is just a matter of caring. An original personality that managed to break the mould to build a life he believed in, thanks to a rare cocktail of talents: big heart, keen mind, penetrating humour. 

He was up to the challenge. He stayed with Julia when a baby, a girl, an adolescent and a woman. Four years ago, when Julia turned twenty-one, Juan Francisco died, leaving the legacy of a life able to listen to its own priorities, put them on the move and get them through.  He also left Lina, a clone of his astute eyes and his sweet smile.

He never told anyone the reasons of his decision to adopt, but as a premonition of what life had in store for him, some years before he adopted Julia, during the baptize of his best friend’s daughter to whom he was the Godfather, the Godmother did not show up. It was a mass baptism in a huge church downtown. On the benches, parents holding children. In the central aisle, two lines: the line of the Godfathers and the line of the Godmothers. The priest would call names alphabetically and parents, child and godparents would approach the altar. The ceremony started and the lines began to move. His best friend’s wife despaired because the godmother did not arrive.  The spot besides Juan Francisco remained empty. 

Juan Francisco, holding the situation, would walk two steps in the Godfather’s line and two other in the Godmother’s. When he arrived to the altar the priest asked: “Are you’re the Godfather?” Juan Francisco answered: “Yes”. “And the Godmother…?, asked the priest. Juan Francisco run over to the other side and said: “Here she is”. His acute and smart charm managed to talk the priest into baptizing the girl with him playing both roles. The rest of his life that girl called him Godmother. 

Silvia Davila Morales © May 10/2011